Uganda Trip - Will You Pray?

I'm doing my laundry today. It means the time is coming closer to my having to put it all in a bag and jump in a 20 hour plane ride, after a 12 hour car ride. Why do I always go so far?

Seriously though, I am very excited about going to Uganda and feel like this is specifically in the plan of the Lord for my life. Not only am I looking forward to invest in the life of the people there, but I am looking forward to having the time to just journal my thoughts, put my life into perspective and renew my passion for the calling of God on my life.

I'll be honest with you, short term mission trips are never about what we can offer to where we go, but they are mostly about what we can get out of it. Sure, we serve and help in some way, but if we really wanted to support missions we should give the long term missionaries the funds they need to do their ministry instead of spending the money on ourselves going to where they are for two weeks. So, I'm not lying about this. I know this trip is about me, mostly.

I think I need to be there to hear what God wants to tell me. Does that sound crazy? Probably to some of you, but to me it sounds just about right. You kind of need to know what is going on inside of my head to understand. But, good look with that one. 

So anyway, the purpose of this post is to ask you to pray for me. I need people who will be supporting me in prayer as I go through these next few weeks. As I seek to know God's will, as I work alongside people who give everything they have to serve the Lord, as I learn from Joy and work with the students.

I need you to pray:

• for safety and protection as I travel to and from the country on August 9th to the 11th and the 25th to the 27th.
• for my health to support the travel, the changes in environment and the stress that's associated with it. 
• for God to renew my passion and vision for his work
• for wisdom and guidance of the people I will be working with as they plan the next few weeks of training for these students (Joy Johnston, and the leaders of the Assemblies Of God of Uganda)
• for the students who will be going through the training and those coming to learn how to be church planter trainers.

It would be great, if you plan on taking some time to pray for me every day that you would either email me (rebeccapaavola@gmail.com) or leave a comment here. Then I can send you specific requests during the trip if ever I can. 

I leave you with a video of a song that's been on my heart lately. This might not be so, but I pray that it might be.

Uganda Mission Trip

Dear friends,

A week ago I was presented with the opportunity to spend two weeks in Uganda with missionary Joy Johnston. If you know me at all, you know that when there is possibility of an adventure, it’s difficult for me to say no; especially when this adventure involves building the church of God in the world.

I wanted to take a moment to inform you about this new adventure and ask you to partner with me as I continue to do the work God has called me to, from Gaspé to Uganda.

During this trip, I will be working alongside missionary Joy Johnston, who focuses on training pastors to build churches in unreached regions of Africa. I just did an interview about what the main focus of our trip will be for our district website. You can listen to it here: http://www.dqpaoc.org/spip.php?article2251.

Pastor Rebecca Paavola direct from Camp Escuminac from dq_paoc on Vimeo.

One of the main problems in Africa is the lack of education offered to people who take on positions of authority. When power is abused it can create terrible situations, and this is even worse when it is done in the name of God. One of my prayers is that we would not only try to change daily situations, but that we would try to change the circumstances behind the difficult situations in order to see long term change. Offering leadership training is one of the ways we can accomplish this.

Joining Joy in her upcoming trip, will be a way for me to learn how I might be involved one day in this long term change and help build pastors who will be transforming the lives of people with the power of the Gospel of Christ everywhere around the world. Not only overseas, but also all around us. Abuse of power, especially within the church, has been one of the main causes of dissention towards the church in places like Quebec today.

In partnering with the Pentecostal Assemblies of God in Uganda, we are equipping Ugandan pastors to be better equipped to reach their continent and see them be raised up as leaders who are reflective of Christ within their own context. This will be done by building churches who are cross-culturally relevant, built on a solid Biblical foundation, and reflective of the servants heart of God through involvement in their communities.

To help me in this endeavour, you can pray for God’s guidance, protection and providence as I travel to Uganda from August 10^th to 25^th. You can also make donations which will be used solely for the expenses of the trip; which amount to about $3,000. Donations can be made to me personally by mailing a cheque to 25 MGR Ross, Gaspé QC, G4X 1L7. Any donations received after the trip will be used to reimburse expenses related to the trip.

To receive a charitable donation receipt for income tax purposes, please make cheques payable to «Pentecostal Christian Assembly» and add a note saying it is for «Pastor’s Mission Trip». A receipt will be sent to you at the end of the year.

I thank you for joining me in this work and I pray God’s blessings will come upon you for it!

Sincerely,

For more information, contact me at rebeccapaavola@gmail.com

What is important in church for you?

Yesterday I saw a blog post by Vicky Beeching where she asked a few questions to her readers. You can read the post here: http://vickybeeching.com/blog/church-what-on-earth-is-it/ She asks,

WHAT IS CHURCH SUPPOSED TO BE? WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU ABOUT HOW CHURCH LOOKS, FEELS, OPERATES?

I really started thinking about this. I have been trying to figure out what is truly important about church for a while. What has meaning to it and what doesn't? Why do we do the things we do? Is it simply because that's the way we've always done it or is it because we truly find it fulfilling the purpose God has for His church?

So, I ask you these questions. Maybe you can help me figure this out and see what is truly important about church for you?

I answered her question this way:

I was thinking about this for a while yesterday and I came up with the idea of communion. I was looking for the one thing in church that does exactly what the church is supposed to do. Bring us closer together as the Body of Christ, keeps Christ in the center of what we do, and helps me grow in maturity. Communion is the one thing which, when observed properly, fills all of these.

I think it doesn't matter what else happens in a service in terms of traditionalism or contemporary worship experiences, communion brings us back to the proper focus. It crosses most denominational boundaries and is always centered upon the Word of God.

I really wish the church would teach more on communion and that instead of it being a ritual in churches it would always keep it's true meaning.

What do you think is truly important in church and why?

Being a Woman Pastor

I haven't blogged in way too long, simply because I have felt like I have nothing very interesting to share compared to everything else written out there. But, I don't write so that people read. I write to clear my head. And right now my head is so full I can hardly focus on anything. So, maybe I need to write.

I have been falling on websites almost every day lately that have really annoyed me. Being very honest, I'm not the kind of woman who usually fells disturbed  or offended by someone telling me that I'm weaker than a man. That man and woman have different roles. Or that a wife should submit to her husband. I have actually found myself fighting for those kind of things. But, this is different.

If you haven't figured it out yet, what I have seen over and over again in the last few weeks is the putting down of woman in ministry. Things like the church needing more "man" pastors. Or that a woman can be involved in a church but she shouldn't be preaching or the main leader of the church. Even telling me that the Bible is clear that a woman shouldn't be speaking in church, never mind the senior pastor. Nothing has happened to me personally in the last little bit to bring this up other than these website. But, I'm just being seriously annoyed by it.

As I said, I usually just ignore those things and move on with my life as if it hadn't happened.  Because it's never going to change. But, I'm tired of it lately. I'm tired of being constantly said that I am not doing the will of God. That a man would do a better job at this than me. That God is against my position in ministry.

It hurts, that I put so much energy into this. That I poor out my heart and soul, literally, for my church. And yet people still believe what I'm doing is against the will of God. It hurts, that I see people coming to the Lord, people being discipled and grow in spiritual maturity, yet I am not doing the will of God.

It confuses me that I see fruit, good fruit, coming out of my life an ministry, but it's not what the Lord has commanded for His church. Does it make any sense to you?

I'm not looking for anyone to approve of what I do. The fruit of my labor and the people being saved and changed is enough for me to know God is for what I am doing. But, why do I have to fight with people supposedly fighting the same cause as me to prove I can do what I am doing? Why would God bless me and my ministry if he didn't approve of it?

I could go into the importance of interpreting those passages they use against the role of woman in the church in proper context both culturally and historically. I could go into debating that from the beginning God created Adam and Eve as equals. And I firmly believe that the Bible says nothing about my role in the church being wrong based on those and other parts of Scripture.

I also believe that God has blessed the ministry of women throughout history so much so that it should be impossible for someone to say that it is against God's will for women to be involved in the leadership of the church.


So, why is it that so many people seem to be undermining the role of woman in the church? Why do I have to fight to determine what I can and cannot do simply because I have boobs.

I know that God always vindicates His Word. And the fruit in my life is enough to show me that He is with me. So, why do you believe otherwise?

Surgery Recuperating

(This is a boring update on my two weeks of recovery from surgery. Nothing very interesting going on here.)

The last two weeks have been not quite what I expected them to be. I thought that after the surgery it would take me about two or three days to recuperate and then I would be able to catch up on life while still resting. Do some reading, writing, organize paper work that hasn't been done in way too long, send out my thank you cards from the wedding. It would a restful, recupperating, productive two weeks.

However, I've been a little frustrated at the fact that it didn't turn out that way. I guess I wasn't expecting the surgery to be so rough on me. I wasn't expecting the anesthetics to have such nasty lasting affects on me. I wasn't expecting the pain from the four little cuts and the discomfort not being able to move would do. I'm glad the surgery is done, but I'd rather not have to go through that again. I kept telling myself that a gallstone attack was worse pain than all of this and it seemed alright!

For the first week I couldn't even get out of bed basically and slept through most of it. Last week if I tried doing anything productive, after a little while of doing work I ended up having to rest and sleep for the rest of the day. I didn't catch up on life, other than the cards that are almost done! My house is a mess, even though Jeremy did wash the floors and do a lot of dishes. I have to start work again on Wednesday/Thursday and I haven't done most of what I wanted to do.

But, I guess that's what sick leave is about. If I could do stuff I should be working. So, at least I haven't felt like I'm taking unnecessary sick days or guilty about telling people they can't come over. I'm surprised how two weeks in church life has felt like a really long time as I tried not to do anything. I'm hopefully ready to get back into it and ready to tackle the challenges ahead of me.

Anyhow, I just thought I would give a little update to those wondering how things are going. I hope you all enjoy the new week ahead of us!

Friday

I'm annoyed that what I really want to write about I can't. But, at the same time.. here's a song I'm enjoying right about now in my nice soothing office as I plan for this coming Sunday. Hope you enjoy too.

Productively Unproductive

Ever feel like you are unproductively productive? It's been one of those weeks here. Because I'm sure you love to read about my week, here's a little of what it looked like.

My office is finally done, which meant that the 6 days of having no office to accumulate paper work, books, music sheets, and furniture needed to be taken care of. And let me tell you it wasn't pretty. I didn't get my day off on Monday because I had Bible Study in Chandler, what I do usually once a month. So, I took Tuesday off instead and ended up not even doing half of what I wanted to do during that day. I spent the day Wednesday cleaning the house up and re-organizing my office because of that. Today, I had to spend a part of my afternoon at the hospital, and I need to go back tomorrow morning.

Enough to say, I haven't gotten much work done this week. But then I did get two Bible studies done. I now have an office I enjoy working in. I have all my pre-op stuff done and most likely an appointment for surgery very soon. I even started paying off my student loan. So, it really hasn't been that unproductive. It just didn't look like what it usually does.

To show this, I thought I would add a few pictures of my office now that it is pretty much done. I have a few things to add here and there. I have some apple boxes that I want to cover with fabric to keep some of my supplies in since I don't have any drawers. I want to finally develop some of our wedding pictures and hopefully frame them for one of the walls. I want to bring in some beach grass in some of my vases, etc... It should look nice by the time it's done. Even if it only gets done in the next few months.

And, by the way, I really wish I was a good photographer... but I never was good with those kind of artsy skills. So you can't really tell how nice the color actually is.

If I was rich I would have nice fancy guest chairs in dark brown leather with green pillows. I would also have a nice antique wood desk. But, I'm a pastor and I never know when the week where I won't be able to cash my pay will come. I'm not worried, I'd just rather not spend frivolous amounts of money for nothing. Which meant I also gave up on the nice light fixture I had chosen and instead decided to fix and clean the one that was there. I also dug up that little dresser thing from the basement of the church to add a touch of that antique feel I wanted. Anyway, here's what it looks like.

Don't forget what it looked like before:

Reading and Sermons

I really want to read more. I want to be more technology savvy too and use some of the amazing resources there are on the web. There is so much information that I could benefit from having, and there are so much blogs and books that I would like to be able to read. But, I don't.

I follow a few blogs, but I have only started that not too long ago. I discovered that I could get glimpses of real good information without going through a book to find it. I also liked that I could just read shorts bits of everything and all kinds of things.

This morning I decided that I needed to have a system in place to try to manage some of the things I want to read and instead of just getting lost and distracted to focus on what I want to read. So, I tried Google reader. I don't know how much it is going to help me, but if I can figure out how it all works, it can't hurt.

I also would like to spend so much less time reading useless status off of Facebook, and instead take that time to read resources that can help me in ministry and life. So, perhaps some kind of Facebook cleaning will be necessary too. I keep one Facebook just to have contact with ministry people and some kind of public image out there to connect with the world. That's also why I decided to join Twitter, although most people I work with don't even know what a blog, or facebook, or twitter is anyway. Maybe in a few years it'll catch on!

Then, there are all those books in Jeremy's library that I really should read. I have found lately that I just don't know much at all. Answers to questions, Biblical interpretations, doctrinal issues... Writing sermons every week has me digging for information that I just either forgot about since Bible College or maybe I just didn't pay enough attention while I was reading that material.

This digging takes a lot of time that I usually don't have when I finally come up with something to write on by Thursday night. I feel that if I was more in the books I would have fresh insights that would help me write my sermons. Maybe it would be easier to come up with sermon topics if I kept my head submersed with the right information.

Any experienced pastors out there have suggestions on how I can make my sermon prep time more effective and less of a burden every week?

Changing education paradigms

A talk Jeremy found this morning. One of the reasons why I'd rather keep my kids out of the public education system. Worth the 11 minutes of your day.Ken Robinson: Changing education paradigms | Video on TED.com

Faith and Healing

I met with the surgeon today. The last time I met with one was a few years ago. After that meeting I had told God, "If you want to heal me, cancel the surgery". Not to my surprise, after passing all the tests and everything I received a phone call telling me that the surgery was canceled. I knew God could heal me, and I expected him to.

The day before I would have been supposed to have my surgery, I ended up in the hospital again in the middle of the night. I thought it was a test of faith to see if I truly believed that God had healed me. After that, I didn't have any more "attacks".

Two years later or so, after following God's leading to serve Him, I ended up twice in a row, on a hospital bed begging for some kind of pain meds. It's gone away since, but I have come to the conclusion that I am not healed. And the doctors face every time they look at my gallbladder says the same thing. "Oh.. there is quite a bit of stones in there". The one today even said that she'd be surprised if it still even works since there are so many stones in there.

For at least the past couple of years I have struggled with my health. Not many people realize how much it affects me on a daily basis. From dealing with a million tests that come up with no conclusion, to not being able to wake up in the morning, to lying on the floor in pain in the middle of the night. It's not always that bad, but some things I deal with every day. This is just not the place for me to talk about it.

I have always wondered why God would allow it to happen to me while I try so hard to simply serve him. Is he punishing me? Is he trying to teach me something? Why can't He heal me? I believe He can, but why doesn't He? You don't know how hard it is to pray for others to be healed when I question why God doesn't do it in my life.

Does that mean there is some hidden sin in my life? Does that mean that I have little faith? Does that mean I am not who God wants me to be? You better not answer yes to any of these, cause I know it's not the case. Those who blame sick people for their sickness have serious issues to take into account.

I don't know why God doesn't heal me. I don't. Sometimes I get angry at him because of it. And I have learned that it is okay. Being sick has changed me. It's made me grow and trust in ways I would have never been able to without this happening in my life. God might have permitted for this to happen in my life, but I know it was ultimately for something good. Even if I never see the results of it. Dealing with all of these issues has helped me be a more compassionate person with those who deal with chronic pain, illnesses, or doubt. Maybe one day it will bring someone to the Lord, or back to Him. 

This morning, some people would tell me that I stopped having faith in what God told me He would do. I would say, this morning I had as much faith as I had that day I received the phone call telling me my surgery was canceled. This morning I had more faith than I have had in a long time, because this morning I had faith that God was God even when He wasn't doing what I think God should be doing.

rantings...

I should probably write a post soon. Maybe when my office is done getting it's make-over I'll post some pictures. If you remember a previous post where I got new shelves. Well, those planets at the top are gone, and tomorrow the holes in the walls, the yellow walls and the dark blue ceiling is going back to outerspace, where it belongs. Instead, what I hope to be some kind of a beach feel should settle in. I sure hope it looks as good as it does in my head. I could also use some inspirations on cheap craft ideas that would work with my theme. Seriously, cheap as in free is good.

My mom's so good at that kind of stuff. You should have seen the stuff she did for my wedding. It was amazing. But, she lives too far to help me with that now. It's kind of sad. I had fun painting trees with my mom. Maybe I'll paint some trees again. I like this.

Alright, more formal, more interesting, and perhaps worth reading post to come eventually.

But, for now, it's Lie to Me time. Jeremy likes the show because the main actor is on his Manic Street Preacher's CD. I just thought you would like to know.

Small Churches Matter

I just read something somewhere about someone who gave up church planting just because they couldn't find a team of leaders to work with. It made me think about how many of us, pastors, if we would stick to this idea would give up our job just because we need to work alone. I am not judging the guy I read this off or anything, I didn't really read the whole story to be honest. But, I wonder how many people leaving Bible College and looking for a job realize that most ministry positions means moving places where team work is not really a possibility.

I often wondered how people coming out of Bible College without the real life ministry experience view what they are about to do. Growing up in a pastor's home and being in ministry throughout my years of Bible College meant that I was not going blindly into it. I knew exactly what I was getting into, and yes I wondered the whole four years why I was doing it.

I heard so many comments and ideals of ministry in Bible College. I wondered why they were teaching the stuff they did if it only really happened once or twice in some cases. I read papers by other students thinking, 'you seriously think that this is going to happen one day?' It's like when I hear all those preachers at conference telling us that our secretary should stick around when we're counseling a 'female'. My first reaction is always, ahhh.. so I should definitely be alone with a male! And then I say.. wait, you really think I have a secretary!!

Ministry is not what they tell us it is. You don't always have the opportunity to live close to family. You don't always have a chance to have the nicest things. You don't always have another pastor to share the burdens of the church with and you barely ever have a secretary to do all your paper work.

But that doesn't make it terrible. I'm just being realistic here.You know, it bothers me that because a pastor has a multi-staff / large congregation church that he gets to be the big shot. It bothers me that that's what I am supposed to aspire to. I have nothing against those in such positions and I do know that they have worked real hard to get there and God has often times placed them there. But, I would also like people to understand that pastor's are where God wants them to be even if their church has 40 people. Even if they have to work alone at developing plans for the years and visions and liturgies schedules and all that.

You learn to work with what you have. But, don't be disapointed when you end up in a church on the tip of the country somewhere without another staff member. It's part of the work. But, instead, learn to work with what you have. Learn to develop leaders where God has placed you. Learn to be the pastor you're supposed to be where you are.

I'm not saying it's an easy task. It's hard and lonely and even depressing at times. But, then you remember why you do it, you see people change and it's all worth it.

Conversational Complaints

There are days I wish everything I attempted to do would get done.
There are days I wish I was sick just so I could stay in bed all day.
There are days I wish my hair would be straight.
There are days I wish snow removal did not involve moving my car out of the way.
There are days I wish that my double chin would instantaneously disappear.
There are days I wish my body would digest any kind of food it eats.
There are days I wish I could fall asleep without lying there for 3 hours.
There are days I wish I lived in a country where it didn't snow.

But then, I remember that tomorrow is garbage day and I'm finally going to get an empty garbage bin again. And that's enough to make me happy! Makes me wonder how much I complain just to have something to say sometimes and not because I'm really concerned about any of these, for real.

Talking On the Telephone

Sometimes I wonder if I am as ackward to talk on the phone to as some people are.

I would say that most of my days are spent on the phone. But, I hate talking on the phone. I feel like you should have everything rehearsed and know exactly what you're saying as soon as the person says, Hello. It intimidates me, and makes me feel so stupid sometimes.

But then, there are the times when I talk to people and I have a list of things written in front of me that I want to say. And when I say them all in the proper timing and relaxed, I feel so smart. However, at some points it happens that I go through my list like you have no idea what the heck I'm going to do. I even forget to breath, and by the time I get to the end, if you were sitting in front of me, you'd see how red I am.

I'm not a phone person. I'd rather send you an email or bump into you somewhere. Sometimes I go out purposely so that I can run into people "accidentally" if I have something to tell them before I try phoning them.

I know, it's a problem. I don't know where it comes from. But, I'm letting you know because I thought you would like to know that.

Why am I writing?

I haven't written in a long time and I am wondering if I should keep writing or not. I have found it an asset to my ministry to have people understand where I come from in my reactions, and freeing to be able to let out my questions and ideas. But I have also realized that many people take what I say in the wrong way. This scares me for the sake of my ministry. I wouldn't want my transparency to hurt my ministry because of misunderstandings.

My ministry, the people I minister to, and the reason why I do it is extremely important to me. That is probably why I find it so difficult, because I care about it so much. I love what I do, while I hate that it takes so much out of me and that it places me in a position where I am so vulnerable. The more I invest in something the more I can get hurt.

It is troubling that people might use what I say to hurt me. As I told those close to me, those who want to hurt me will find a way whether I am transparent or not. But, I decided I don't like people having an extra reason to hurt me. Ministry is hard enough as is.

I find this extremely frustrating. The reality that although I don't want to hide what is going on in my life I have to. I find it hard to find the right balance between transparency and privacy. I have lived my whole life in the spotlight, hiding so many things, and I was rejoicing in this new found freedom.

But, I read an article in the Enrich magazine the PAOC sends me every few months and in her article, Isolated! A Paradox of Life in the Ministry, Tina Strutt says,

Many clergy have struggled with being real and have swung the pendulum too far in the other direction, causing dissension and hurt in our churches. We need to be highly tuned in to the appropriateness of what we share, and when and with whom we share it.

Isolation busting requires finding a safe place to be yourself. This is not the same as believing that you can let your hair down with just anyone. Yes, we want to be ourselves, but there are some things in our lives that require a few close confidants who are willing to support and help us process through the struggles we may be having.

I fear I am not stable enough to know what is proper to share and not. Like I am on some sort of rebound from all my years where I thought I couldn't share anything with anyone. I know that this isn't the place to share everything that is on my mind, while I would love for it to be.

My lack of real relationships and network in ministry has been fulfilled for the last few months with this blank post where I share what is going on in my life. It hasn't been working, so maybe my focus should change. Or maybe I need to stop.

This is what I do not like about being a pastor. It's not the work-load, it's not the people, it's not the spiritual battle, it's the figuring out how to properly live my life while being a pastor every hour of every day of every week of every year and for the rest of eternity.