Days Like That...

Some days I lose it. Some weeks I lose it. Some times I just can't deal with all the questions in my head and so I must find a way to let it out. Most of the times, I end up taking it out on Jeremy. Not that he doesn't ask for it. But on days like that, you shouldn't ask for it. Just saying...

Some times, I have weeks like that. When all I feel like doing is sleeping. Should I feel guilty about it? Because I do... which makes those weeks the most annoying weeks I go through. But, it is often times the result of doubts never being answered, of over doing it for the last few weeks, and lack of vitamin D. 


Is it wrong, that I feel guilty to take care of myself? Is it wrong that I feel bad to answer the phone and say "yes, I was sleeping and it is 11am"? The problem with this job is it's lack of description. I feel like I do nothing, but I feel like I'm always doing something. The fact that I work from home makes it even worse. There is no days "off" unless I go out and don't come back for the whole day.


I wonder why other people can do what they do and not feel so overwhelmed. What is it about me that causes me to be so lazy, is what I ask myself all the time? But, am I truly lazy? Is that the problem? Or have I been lied to by all them peoples out there....


I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm not looking for relief. I'm just trying to understand.